One of 's classes is "Risk Assessment", where the subjects vary from hazmat exposure prevention, treatment, risk mitigation, etc. and so on. One of her recent assignments was a "Mystery Hazards" quiz, where the professor gave a list of symptoms and clues about a toxin and you had to identify what it was and explain how each clue is relevant to the toxin.
One of these, "Mystery Hazard #2", had the following clues:
* This hazard is yellow green in color.
*It is best to keep it confined, because, if let loose, it tends to violently attack entities around it, including people, animals, plants and inanimate objects.
*If it goes after you, and contacts you, there is usually not much that you can do to protect yourself.
*Each year, some of this hazard escapes confinement, one way or another, and it ends up harming or killing people.
*Those who are unknowledgeable about this hazard run a much greater risk of it appearing unexpectedly in their homes and attacking them. Each year, unsuspecting people become victims in their own homes.
*Unconfined, the presence of this hazard is associated with depression.
*Despite opposition from many, tons of this hazard, newly generated, appear in this country every year.
*This hazard is highly unnatural on earth, yet it is present in abudnace on certain other worlds.
*A small fraction of this hazard is radioactive.
*A single exposure of it can lead to RADS.
*With combustibles, this hazard can, and often does, cause conflagration.
*Long used to preserve life, this hazard is now also being contemplated by terrorists for use in ending life.
*Experts have concerns about this hazard getting into the wrong hands.
One of these, "Mystery Hazard #2", had the following clues:
* This hazard is yellow green in color.
*It is best to keep it confined, because, if let loose, it tends to violently attack entities around it, including people, animals, plants and inanimate objects.
*If it goes after you, and contacts you, there is usually not much that you can do to protect yourself.
*Each year, some of this hazard escapes confinement, one way or another, and it ends up harming or killing people.
*Those who are unknowledgeable about this hazard run a much greater risk of it appearing unexpectedly in their homes and attacking them. Each year, unsuspecting people become victims in their own homes.
*Unconfined, the presence of this hazard is associated with depression.
*Despite opposition from many, tons of this hazard, newly generated, appear in this country every year.
*This hazard is highly unnatural on earth, yet it is present in abudnace on certain other worlds.
*A small fraction of this hazard is radioactive.
*A single exposure of it can lead to RADS.
*With combustibles, this hazard can, and often does, cause conflagration.
*Long used to preserve life, this hazard is now also being contemplated by terrorists for use in ending life.
*Experts have concerns about this hazard getting into the wrong hands.
The correct answer is, of course, chlorine gas. However, I thought of a far more dangerous answer, so I wrote up the following. liked it so much that she posted it on her class's discussion board. :-)
-------------------------------------
MYSTERY HAZARD #2: ZOMBIES
This hazard is yellow green in color.
While zombies have been observed in many colors (depending on their stage of decomposition when reanimated), their most common complexion is that of a pasty rotting yellow-green.
It is best to keep it confined, because, if let loose, it tends to violently attack entities around it, including people, animals, plants and inanimate objects.
Zombies are relentless in their undying search for braaaaains. If human brains are unavailable, some zombies have been known to go after animal brains, particularly cows and other farm animals, since they offer little to no resistance. As for the attacks on plants, research has not yet determined whether vegetarian zombies are attracted to graaaaains, or more specifically to braaaaan.
If they sense that humans have barricaded themselves into vehicles, buildings, or other
-------------------------------------
MYSTERY HAZARD #2: ZOMBIES
This hazard is yellow green in color.
While zombies have been observed in many colors (depending on their stage of decomposition when reanimated), their most common complexion is that of a pasty rotting yellow-green.
It is best to keep it confined, because, if let loose, it tends to violently attack entities around it, including people, animals, plants and inanimate objects.
Zombies are relentless in their undying search for braaaaains. If human brains are unavailable, some zombies have been known to go after animal brains, particularly cows and other farm animals, since they offer little to no resistance. As for the attacks on plants, research has not yet determined whether vegetarian zombies are attracted to graaaaains, or more specifically to braaaaan.
If they sense that humans have barricaded themselves into vehicles, buildings, or other
inanimate objects, zombies can be particularly stubborn.
If it goes after you, and contacts you, there is usually not much that you can do to protect yourself.
Once eaten by zombies, victims are likely to become zombies themselves. If their initial wounds are not fatal, a zombie’s bite is usually poisonous enough to cause eventual zombification; even a scratch or claw can cause major infection. Due to this, zombification is highly contagious, and it is recommended that everyone stay as far away from shambling zombie hordes as possible.
Each year, some of this hazard escapes confinement, one way or another, and it ends up harming or killing people.
Zombies do occasionally break loose, and sometimes even escape from the secret government research facilities where their condition is studied. These events and their aftermath are often caught on film and presented in gritty documentaries, but the government usually covers up these incidents through their control of Hollywood, by repackaging the documentaries as horror movies.
Those who are unknowledgeable about this hazard run a much greater risk of it appearing unexpectedly in their homes and attacking them. Each year, unsuspecting people become victims in their own homes.
The zombie threat is very real. As such, people unaware of this threat tend to leave doors unlocked or windows open, making it easy for zombies to gain entry. The best way to prevent zombies from gaining access to your home is by boarding up all windows with plywood or metal bars, and barricading all doors with heavy furniture.
Unconfined, the presence of this hazard is associated with depression.
A crowd of animated rotting corpses, in mindless pursuit of brains, is likely to make any observer very, very sad.
Despite opposition from many, tons of this hazard, newly generated, appear in this country every year.
Every Halloween, tons of children and adults dress up as zombies. Whether this is done for entertainment’s sake, or as a weak attempt to camouflage themselves among the walking undead, still remains to be seen.
This hazard is highly unnatural on earth, yet it is present in abundance on certain other worlds.
Zombies? Unnatural on earth?? That certainly goes without saying!
As for other worlds, although substantiated reports are very rare (Dante’s Inferno may be as close as we have seen so far), it is rumored that some other dimensions, or some of the inner circles of Hell, are positively teeming with zombies.
A small fraction of this hazard is radioactive.
A small fraction of zombies are radioactive, yes. In the simplest cases, the radiation poisoning was the initial cause of human death; once zombified, this leads to radioactive zombies.
On a more chilling note, in remote areas, entire towns have been overrun by zombies, and the best defense was to destroy the town with a small-scale tactical nuke, then report it to the news as a tragic environmental disaster. While this is often effective, there have been reports of...survivors.
A single exposure of it can lead to RADS.
Ummm...I don’t know what RADS is, but if it’s caused by a zombie, then I’m not sure I’d want to know.
With combustibles, this hazard can, and often does, cause conflagration.
Thankfully, zombies are highly flammable. Their skin and bones are dry and brittle, and the decomposition of their rotting flesh releases organic gases that are absorbed by their clothes, adding fuel to the fire in a very literal sense.
However, fire alone is often not enough to kill a zombie. As a result, perhaps the only thing scarier than a zombie is a ZOMBIE ON FIRE.
Long used to preserve life, this hazard is now also being contemplated by terrorists for use in ending life.
The first accounts of zombies came from ancient Egypt. Mummification was an attempt to preserve the bodies of the rulers and the wealthy, but grave robbers and hapless archaeologists unwittingly tripped hieroglyphic curses, causing “mummies” to come to life and defend their tombs.
In modern day, some mad scientists and “reanimators” still look to zombies as a viable method of world domination (or at least an easy route to an article in J.AMA). After all, when it comes to spreading fear, terror, and ultimately death, what could possibly be more effective than an army of the walking dead to do your unholy bidding?
Experts have concerns about this hazard getting into the wrong hands.
Wouldn’t YOU?!?
Posts
