Thursday, February 12, 2009

Et dikt å huske på når ting går trått

Amor fati

Ikke som en cæsar gjorde,
skal du med et sverd bevæbne
deg mot verden, men med ordet;
Amor Fati - elsk din skjebne.

Denne formel skal du fatte
som din sterkeste befrier:
Du har valgt din sti i krattet.
Ikke skjel mot andre stier!

Også smerten er din tjener.
Lammet, sønderknust, elendig
ser du at den gjenforener
deg med det som er nødvendig.

Også fallet, også sviket
hjelper deg som dine venner.
Dine nederlag er rike
gaver, lagt i dine hender.

Engang skal du, tilfredsstillet
av å bli din skjebne verdig
vite: Dette har jeg villet.
Alt som skjer meg skjer rettferdig.

Si da, når din levegledes
grønne skog er gjennomvandret:
Intet vil jeg anderledes.
Intet ønsker jeg forandret.

- André Bjerke

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The future may come

I said I was going to tell you about my super Sunday on Monday, but I have had too much to do lately. So today I can tell you about it, and maybe some about the other days.

On Sunday I had a kind of break though with my boyfriend. I've always had a feeling he didn't see a future with me, not to talk about spend it with me. But on Sunday I finally found a way to ask him that was simple enough for him to understand it and answer it. For a change I actually managed to keep it quite simple compared to normal.
So what I asked him was if he'd ever had a kind if flash of a feeling wanting to move in with me. And guess what he said, he said yes. HE SAID YES! Ok, I know that he said yes doesn't mean that it is going to be the two of us for the rest of the future, but it made me feel appreciated and wanted. In addition to that we have had quite some nice days lately.

On Saturday we went to the theatre with Razumny's parents to Les Misérables at Oslo Nye teater (about the play at Oslo Nye in Norwegian). Though I am rather picky it was a great experience as it was the first time for me to see the play. The things I found quite sad is that
* the brand of Oslo Nye is actors who eat parts of their lines/some of the words in their lines
* it didn't really touch me, it could be that the expecatations were too great as I've heard the audio version of the british production of the play a zillion times.

After the play the four of us went to a restaurant names Nippon art. I've wanted to go there for ages, and have tried to convince both my best friend, Janne and the wonderfull Razumny a couple of times. This Saturday prefilled my wish!

For the rest of the week I've seen my doctor, a work psychologist and fixed some things since I'm going away to Alta next year to attend Øytun folkehøgskole to study Travel Photography. As this blog post is getting quite long I'll tell you more about this and my planes for education in a later post.

And if for you who want to learn something about me;
The reason for him normally not understand my questions is that I have a way of asking about things in rather complicated manners, with a lot of metaphors and symbols. For me the questions are of course all logical and seem really clear with the metaphors. The only thing is that the metaphors are often only mine, and not really possible for others to understand. Anyway, back to what I was talking about.

That's it for now, more to come later.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

A wonderfull day

Today I've had a wonderful day. I've grown founder of my fantastic boyfriend and learned some new stuff. Hopefully my mind won't erase everything during the night, so I can write about it tomorrow, as I'm too tired to do anything else but sleep just about now. I'm so happy now I feel like flying. It seems like things are picking up, getting better and that I've finally caught a glimpse of a candle flickering in the end of the tunnel. Maybe it won't be too long for my hair to glisten in the sun and my heart to find a calm pace.

I also got other great news about what my future might hold. I'm actually smiling a lot today. This is a good sign. Perhaps I'll find the fun in attending school again and learn to enjoy myself and quit stressing all of the time.

More to come tomorrow after I've been to the local knitting shop's knitting circle. ^^ I'm really looking forward to go there tomorrow. Finally I'll manage to finish the neck twist I've been making for my grandmother, and learn to crochet picot style.